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8.11.2004

adam was born last nite.

i could hear the excitement in aarons voice when he called to tell us. he got another little boy. he says crystal wished it woulda been a little girl. something different, special he says. i already gave him boys. she wanted to give him something different. but hes happy he got his boy. and i guess thats what is different, special... that he was happy about this one.

good for you.

8.09.2004

oh dear god. i watch far too much TLC. last nite i had a dream that i was remodeling a house with the "In A Fix" crew. and Jennie was all bent out of shape because she thought i was sneaking off with Justin. we cried and hugged a lot together when i told her i'd rather have Marc. seriously, they were all there, cept Sparky. blah blah blah, more house remodeling. and then in the end Justin and i are sneaking off together. damnit. i dont even get the right man in my dreams...

8.06.2004

to make a long story short - lately, every nite ive had a dream about this boy that i was absolutely smitten with all through high school. god i loved that kid. shame on you subconscience for bringing out the "Unattainable Twin" card. anyhow, im a glutton for punishment so i was digging around on the internet to see if he had gotten married. anyhow, i ran across his twin brothers website. course there were all kinds of pictures of the boys rockclimbing and other such sexy nonsense. damn you. as if my image of him wasnt perfect before, now he rock climbs too. please just kill me already. THEN, i find a quote or some shit where he writes "...I received my undergraduate degree in Engineering-Physics at *** University. There I was involved as a teacher's assistant, with micro-electronics research, and as a part of a team that worked on building the TUSat 1 satellite...". okay. first let me say that i dont secretly want to be with him or anything, but it was always nice to dream someday maybe i could be if given the chance. because in high school, he was kind and wholesome and genuine to the core. he was everything i wasnt. now that i am those things, he had to raise the bar and go be something i can NEVER be. such as THAT DAMN SMART. that fucker.

yep. sometimes, being me actually physically hurts.

8.01.2004

holy crap.

to the dismay of my friends and family, i am still alive. sorry bout yer luck fuckers.

i am delighted to inform you that the reason for my lengthy absence was directly due to my extensive research on the giant anteater in its natural habitat. no wait, it was just because the electric company shut of my power. bastards.

quick recap on the past months...
- we have moved back in with the parents. the parents, meaning mine. mom, i love you tremendously... but that doesnt mean i wont hunt you while you sleep. for sport, of course. youd look lovely stuffed and mounted somewhere else.
- men are like pogo sticks on ice. as fun as it sounds, its just a bad idea.
- Beez is finally walking. he is officially the laziest child ever. and Moosie is now smarter than i am.
- in sticking with tradition, i am about to make yet another career choice. and with that tradition, comes the ever popular, failure. something tells me this time im on the right track. then again, that same something told me to marry El Disastro. least this idea will provide some income.
- im still poor. im still obsessively nervous. and im still bitter. but at least im really really good at all three now.