to make a long story short - lately, every nite ive had a dream about this boy that i was absolutely smitten with all through high school. god i loved that kid. shame on you subconscience for bringing out the "Unattainable Twin" card. anyhow, im a glutton for punishment so i was digging around on the internet to see if he had gotten married. anyhow, i ran across his twin brothers website. course there were all kinds of pictures of the boys rockclimbing and other such sexy nonsense. damn you. as if my image of him wasnt perfect before, now he rock climbs too. please just kill me already. THEN, i find a quote or some shit where he writes "...I received my undergraduate degree in Engineering-Physics at *** University. There I was involved as a teacher's assistant, with micro-electronics research, and as a part of a team that worked on building the TUSat 1 satellite...". okay. first let me say that i dont secretly want to be with him or anything, but it was always nice to dream someday maybe i could be if given the chance. because in high school, he was kind and wholesome and genuine to the core. he was everything i wasnt. now that i am those things, he had to raise the bar and go be something i can NEVER be. such as THAT DAMN SMART. that fucker.

yep. sometimes, being me actually physically hurts.