my ex-husband has ginormous nads.

and not because hes well endowed. in fact i hope someday he finds this blog just so i can tell him I WAS FAKING THEM. so last night, in a conversation about the weekend visitation arrangements, the following conversation took place:

A-Hole: So about our kids this summer. I know I said I wanted to have them for extended stays, but I wont be able to. Im double timing it here trying to find a job AND taking care of the baby.

Me: (crickets chirping)

A-Hole: And besides, we are trying to catch up. And [she] needs a new car.

Me: Whats wrong with her car?

A-Hole: Nothing. But I want her to have a shiny new one. She deserves it.

Me: Oh yes, she deserves it. And our son needs diapers, but he hasnt really EARNED them has he. and you owe me thousands and thousands and THOUSANDS in child support, but its not like caring for them alone deserves a car. certainly not.
or
Me: Yes, because 3 adults in that house that take care of ONE INFANT is really tough work. She needs a break. Or a Lexus. Either way, she deserves it.
or
Me: So tell me, exactly how does one "deserve" a new car? By giving professional lap dances or merely by putting up with you? If its the latter, then fuck man, she deserves a trophy. And some glasses. And a clue.

ok, so none of those last things were actually said. because any thought that contains more than 3 words is too much for him all at once. here, let me help you a-hole...

YOU.
ARE.
AN.
ASSHAT.