top 10 things that right now, i am NOT thankful for:

10. genetic engineering. mainly because i have been nominated to write a debate highlighting its benefits. so fucking lame.

9. holidays where kids are home from school. i would cry if i had any emotion left at all. but that too has been beaten out of me.

8. price tags. its christmas for shits sake, what happened to all the giving?

7. extended family. i know this seems harsh, but you havent met them. or just spent 4 days with them. you would gladly gnaw off your own arm before subjecting yourself to it. trust me. heredity is the devil.

6. clocks. is it really necessary at 5.00pm to taunt me with many hours until bedtime? and then wake me up at 1.30am and be all proud to show off the time? stupid clock, get a hobby.

5. ipods. because i dont have one. damnit.

4. snow. i dont like to drive in you. i dont like how cold you make me. all you do is make my kids filthy. all youre good for is a reason to drink cocoa & baileys. not that ive ever really needed a reason anways.

3. medication. this shit makes me so very sleepy. must.stay.awake. must.watch.baby. must not let baby eat dirt. but will let baby eat dog food if it means he lets mommy sleeeeeeeep.

2. hand-made chocolate milk. why cant i get it to taste like it does when you buy it premade? WHY GOD, WHY? is that so much to ask. jesus.

1. stimulation. i have become so boring that i make my parents look exciting. and that cannot mean good things.