4.28.2004
"eddie, you keep talkin' like a bitch, im gonna slap you like a bitch" -mr.blonde
a funny thing happened to me tonite. i couldnt sleep. thats not the funny part, cause well, i never sleep. not ever. anyhow. the funny part was that i didnt spend it in front of the computer. i had very little enthusiasm for the mud. i did however have a nagging urge to watch every quentin tarantino movie ever made. sweet geezus, i needed that like i need a fucking hole in the head. i honestly think that now ive lost my mind. yup, right over the edge. wiiiii. but i will take the anxious, jumpy feeling in my chest. bring it. so so so worth it. i will walk away from this with 2 new outlooks: a) there is just all together not enough brilliant creative minds like that in the world. b) michael madsen. oh lord the things i would do to that man. my world is a much better place with the mental image of him in it. and trust me, for your sake, let that be all i say about him. i will keep the rest of my thoughts reserved for my personal fulfillment.
"that woman deserves her revenge, and we... deserve to die..." -budd. aka sidewinder
the topic of blogging and its purpose has come up a lot lately. particularly, in reference to the personal level on which a person chooses to post about. theres a handful or two of blogs i read daily. some are personal, some are not. in my opinion, both are equally enjoyable. i however, choose to take the personal path. for me it was an easy decision. i write what i do for 2 reasons. as a release. i write it, then let it go. i dont have the time or patience to let all the bullshit seep into everyday life. so i sit down at night with a cocktail, and unwind. secondly, as a written history. to learn. despite my many years of rebellion, i spent a good number of them being shaped into who and what i was supposed to be. by my family, my husband, my peers, whoever. here is where im me. like it or not. raw and uncensored, i can pick apart the words and find myself. does it scare me that i lay out all the deep shit for everyone to read? not really. vulnerability is not a weapon unless youre afraid of it. this is me. and im not afraid. do with it what you will. thats your choice. im not in this for you, im in it for me. luckily for you im crazy enough to provide a little entertainment along the way.
"are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?" -mr.blonde
a funny thing happened to me tonite. i couldnt sleep. thats not the funny part, cause well, i never sleep. not ever. anyhow. the funny part was that i didnt spend it in front of the computer. i had very little enthusiasm for the mud. i did however have a nagging urge to watch every quentin tarantino movie ever made. sweet geezus, i needed that like i need a fucking hole in the head. i honestly think that now ive lost my mind. yup, right over the edge. wiiiii. but i will take the anxious, jumpy feeling in my chest. bring it. so so so worth it. i will walk away from this with 2 new outlooks: a) there is just all together not enough brilliant creative minds like that in the world. b) michael madsen. oh lord the things i would do to that man. my world is a much better place with the mental image of him in it. and trust me, for your sake, let that be all i say about him. i will keep the rest of my thoughts reserved for my personal fulfillment.
"that woman deserves her revenge, and we... deserve to die..." -budd. aka sidewinder
the topic of blogging and its purpose has come up a lot lately. particularly, in reference to the personal level on which a person chooses to post about. theres a handful or two of blogs i read daily. some are personal, some are not. in my opinion, both are equally enjoyable. i however, choose to take the personal path. for me it was an easy decision. i write what i do for 2 reasons. as a release. i write it, then let it go. i dont have the time or patience to let all the bullshit seep into everyday life. so i sit down at night with a cocktail, and unwind. secondly, as a written history. to learn. despite my many years of rebellion, i spent a good number of them being shaped into who and what i was supposed to be. by my family, my husband, my peers, whoever. here is where im me. like it or not. raw and uncensored, i can pick apart the words and find myself. does it scare me that i lay out all the deep shit for everyone to read? not really. vulnerability is not a weapon unless youre afraid of it. this is me. and im not afraid. do with it what you will. thats your choice. im not in this for you, im in it for me. luckily for you im crazy enough to provide a little entertainment along the way.
"are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?" -mr.blonde
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