so today i was that woman.
yes, that woman with the kid screaming in public. being a single mother, i have to open that third eye and prepare accordingly for such things before they actually go down. were they fed? yes. changed? yes. bribed? hell yes. so in we go for quick dinner fixins'. now usually, if this were to take place in a store, i would leave the cart, run to the car and go into hiding. but hes three now, way too smart for all that planning business. so he waits til we go through the checkout. so close. so close, just a little bit farther now. and then, here we go...

"NOOOOO, i want the apple NOW! NOOOOOOO!"
(let me add that this is all at a volume that could potentially alert the national guard of a disaster situation)
so like any mother, i try and quietly divert his attention and hush him. silly me.

"NOOOOO, SCREAM, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
this is where the kicking, punching, and relentless flailing happens. um no, mama wont have any of that. so i tell him that if hes gonna start all that, he better find someone else to go home with to try and swing at.

"NOOOOO, I SAID NOOOOOOOOOO!"
at this point he has lept from the cart, leaving me standing in line with a baby, an arm full of bags, and a half-horrified and half-denial expression. hes now standing about 20 feet from me, making sure he has a damn good audience. stupidly, i ask "you bout done?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

boy was he wrong. after i finished with him, he was SO done that i swear i saw a fork sticking out of his ass as he was running for cover...